Ecclesiastes 3:11

"God makes everything beautiful for its own time."

I did not admit it last time I wrote, but the reason I quit writing on this blog for awhile is because I became very aware that I do not possess the right skill to be a good blogger. My story-telling and writing style (while proficient I would say) are such that they don't lend to the profound, thought-provoking posts that some of my friends contribute to their blogs (I follow some amazing bloggers, btw...I've posted some of their links on here before).
Shying away from blog posting last spring, incidentally, taught me a couple new things about myself:
1) I don't like to do things unless I can do them well
2) I'm getting better at recognizing my own shortcomings, as well as my talents

In addition to these insights, the last couple months of summer life and the first 3 weeks back at Rockhurst have helped me grow immensely in knowledge of my self. My quirks, my talents, my temptations, my desires. Thomas Merton talks about how as we get to know ourselves better, we grow in knowledge of God, and vice versa. Well, that's good. Means I'm learning more about God. :)

This idea of growth has definitely been a theme of my heart lately. God is growing me. He is making me, not "better," (implying the idea that I am not good enough as I am), but simply more complete. The pieces of me and Him that I am not yet aware of are out there, and He is showing them to me as is necessary, and no more than that. He is making me beautiful in my own time. The important part of that verse is not that I am being made beautiful, (again, implying that I am not beautiful by nature) but that I am being made beautiful for my own time. He is, with perfect timing and prudence, forming me in and for my journey toward Heaven.

This summer was so blissfully consoling. It was easy to pray, easy to love, easy to serve. And I grew and healed so much. And I am back again in KC, MO for my senior year at Rockhurst where, quite frankly, it is not as easy to serve, not as easy to pray, not as easy to love as it is in the Promised Land of Wichita, KS in the midst of my TEC framily. But the relative ease I assign to the places and tasks God calls me to don't really matter. I am blessed when I am at home. I am blessed equally as much here. I am called to love Christ with as much of my heart here as I am at home. My own time for being made beautiful is now, and it doesn't matter where I am placed. 

St. Maximilian Kolbe said once: "Pray that I may love without any limits." I used to think that was true in terms of the magnitude of my love. But I also realize now that I must love without limits to where the journey takes me, physically and spiritually. Christ calls me to love without ANY limits. Period.

So, as I write this imperfect blog post and muse on how different life at school is from life in summer, I pray that God continues to make me beautiful for my own time. May He do the same for you.

Grace to you all, and peace!