Lent thus far

Hmmm...so I kinda cringed when I looked back on this Lent. Though I would say that I did grow spiritually, it was in ways that I didn't expect (isn't that about par for the course?) And I did not hold myself to my Lenten fasts and lofty goals for personal prayer like I had hoped. I definitely realize the cost that came with my laziness. However, I am trying to look at it in a new light: I am trying to not focus on keeping God's Law on the outside like the Pharisees, but what is really more important-keeping God's Law and Love in my heart, and trying to accept and embrace it more. Here's a short conversation He and I had this afternoon...

Me: I realize I didn't keep to any of my resolutions for Lent this year.

God: I know that, dear. You still have much to learn about devotion, and discipline. So many more graces will be yours when this happens. But I have still managed to work in you during this season haven't I?

Me: Yes, Lord. I learned at least a little bit more about offering wheat and sacrifice. But it's so humbling, Lord. And very very hard. I know that I am weak. But I always wish I could suffer joyfully, like the Saints. Will You grant me the grace to do so?

God: Of course, My dear. But think about what you are asking of Me. By asking for the grace to suffer joyfully,  you also ask for such an opportunity to suffer, so that I may pour that grace upon you. Don't lose heart when this opportunity arrives. The first step to suffering joyfully is to realize that I Am the One allowing it. I also Am the One who sees you through it.

**Insert Lightbulb flash above April's head in the chapel**
Me: Yes, Lord. Whenever You grant my requests, I always curse my luck...when no such thing exists. Help me to always recognize Your Hand and Your Will in all things.

Amen to that!
Grace to you, friends and peace!