Ouch.

My friend Jesse mentioned once how chock-full of wise goodness the book of Sirach was...so I thought I'd give it a shot. I am slowly, slloooooowwwwwwlllly and sporadically making my way through Sirach and made it to chapter 10, verse 12 the other night:

"The beginning of pride is man's stubbornness in withdrawing his heart from his Maker."

"Ouch."
"Oops."
Those were my first two articulate reactions to this verse. Stubbornness is not a personality trait I would normally attribute to myself. But after recent repeated arguments and at least one outright fight with God, what else can I call myself? Proud.
Double-ouch.
The very BEGINNING of pride is my stubbornness. And not just my stubbornness of will-the days where I tell God how I want His plan to go. Pride reigns in my heart when I refuse to let the love and peace of Christ control it instead. My pride begins (began) when I withdraw my heart from God...when I refuse to let Him love me. When I withdraw my affection from the One who IS Love, who loves me more completely than I could even imagine.
If a dear friend were to withdraw their affections, their heart from me, how would I feel?
Well, I'll be taking that one to confession. Peace and grace to you!